Scarlett and My Mom

As I read "Scarlett", the sequel to "Gone With The Wind" I think about the strong women in my life.  The main character in these two books is the symbol of spunk, resolve and shrewdness.  You definitely do not fall in love with her from the start.   At times I was actually horrified by her character in the book "Gone With The Wind".  She was extremely selfish and made most of her decisions without considering the hurt that they caused others.  Even with that repugnance, you could not help but be inspired by her strength and resilience.  In the second book, it portrays Scarlett growing more of a conscience and depth of character.  I'm a little over halfway through the book "Scarlett" and have had a hard time putting it down.  Scarlett has times reminded me of the strength, passion and fortitude I've seen in some of the women in my life.  My thoughts at this moment are on my Mom.

I hope to one day be able to put in words the type of woman my Mom was.  I've struggled with how to adequately describe her to those who never had the chance to know her.  I realize I'm bias, but the woman was extraordinary.  Scarlett's character in the second book is really starting to remind me of my Mom.  Pluckiness comes to mind first.  Scarlett and my Mom had nerves of steel.  It's so much fun to hear the stories and reminisce of all the times I (we) remember my Mom going into "battle".  She did not back down from anything.  This naturally flows into another similiarity between Mom and Scarlett.  They would do whatever it took to take care of those they loved.  Most of the stories or memories of Mom's resolve come with her protecting me, my brother or another family member.

The willingness to buck society's rules is another.  In both of these books, Scarlett rebels against the "rules" of her day when they did not serve to her liking.  I smile as I write that Mom had a similar disposition.  I'm starting to flounder on how to describe this well.  Instead of rushing myself, I'm going to continue this thought with my next (the 30th) post.  I can tell you this I have a huge smile on my face right now.  It's hard not to get one when you think of someone you love and admire this much.

I'm really glad this post turned in to what it did.  I feel a surge of emotions right now and they are all very good.  It makes me so happy to think about my Mom.  How my Mom and Dad...and many others have been such a integral part in this fantastic fergitude.

Today's Itinerary

Weekends seem to bring a flurry of activity that takes over my brain.  Today I plan to:

• Answer calls that come into the office about real estate from 9-1
• Show property to my Mt Everest clients from 2-5
• Pop into Fox n Hound to say goodbye to friends moving to Cary, NC at 6pm
• Attend a "Thank You" celebration for helping with the American Heart Assoc. Heart Ball 6:30-7:30pm
• Scoop my husband up for dinner with a bunch of friends at Yosake 8pm

Now that is going to be a tight schedule.  As I look at this timeline, I think to myself...will I be able to pull it off?  I'm going to try my best.  Of course I could take a few things out of the equation, but then I would miss out on those delicious escapades.  Besides, I feel I work best when I have a packed agenda.  Well...as long as there are some days for rest, relaxation and reading my books.

On each of these adventures my goal will be to relish each one while I'm in the moment.  To soak up the company that is around me, to appreciate the experience and pay attention to the gifts I receive and give.  Throughout this odyssey today, I will encounter many jewels.  I'm giddy with anticipation!

Each day can hold an itinerary of unknown possibilities.  Where will yours take you today?

Cherish

Cool and the Gang...Madonna.  Every time I'm trying to come up with the title of a blog I start singing a song in my head.  

I'm still in a very blissful state from what my husband wrote last night.  The man tells me he loves me, but to have him so effortlessly crank something like those feelings out really makes me feel like I'm floating.  Yeah...he's a keeper.

Sitting here writing to you I'm thinking of how grateful I am for all the people I have in my life.  Obviously I realize how lucky I am to have the husband I have (just read the last post for a glimpse).  I feel like I hit the jackpot with him.  My thoughts are not only focused on the most intimate people in my life.  I showed a home to clients today at 6pm.  There is a respect, kindness and friendship that is subtly forming between us.   On the drive home my thoughts from that experience (and those throughout the day) lead me to the gratitude that I'm blogging about now.

This whole day has been full of interactions with people I am thankful for having in my life.  Each person, whether I have known them over 10 years or less than 10 days enhances my fantastic adventure.  It could be through kindness, love, and even through disagreement that they improve our lives.  Think of the people you have interacted with in the span of this day.  Reflect on how each of them have impacted your life.  Even the individual that may have caused challenges in your life has played an important role in your journey.

Isn't it incredible that each person that has graced our path has helped shape us to who we are at this moment.  Now...turn that around.  Think of how much you have impacted the people in your life.  I want to make sure I do this often...to cherish those in my life.

Living with Fergie's Fergitude

Tonight, I got home late from work and started cooking Greg and I dinner.  In a joking way,  I asked him if he would like to write a guest post on my blog.  He immediately started typing.  I thought to myself...this is my lucky night.  I was just so tired and felt I was losing steam fast.  I would have never imagined that he would write something like this.  He just blew me away.  Enough from me...here is my very talented, one helluva man husband.

What it’s like living with Fergie’s Fergitude

First off, it’s contagious.  No matter how tough a day was had or what obstacles lay before her, she always maintains her positive outlook and strives to better herself and her situation.  Nicole’s optimism and Fergitastic mentality make it extremely difficult to dwell on my own day’s challenges or hardships, like I used to do pre-Fergie (I can still be a bitch though).

Secondly, it keeps me young.  Her genuine love and curiosity of all things new means I have to keep my mind open and prepared for any type of spontaneous activity, something out of my comfort zone. I found this actually keeps my mind sharp, instead of letting life’s routines and habits wear me down. I catch glimpses of excitement and wonderment in her eyes you only see in children.  When this happens I too feel like a child with the whole world ahead of me, and know 30 years from now those same looks from her will make me feel the same…young and carefree.

Lastly, it gives me purpose.  Witnessing her Fergitude helping friends, family and Mother Nature drives me to ensure her place in this world remains high above any hardships self created by greed, jealousy or anger.  To have someone so special love me, means more than any job, money or accomplishment ever could.  I want to do my best simply because I want what’s best for her, and that’s best for all of us.

Ideas From You

Today is day 25 of my 30 day blog challenge.  Five more days until I have reached the goal!

You know the theme of this blog is all about how each decision shapes our life.  From the tiny ones to the humongous ones.  My decision to do this 30 day challenge has definitely impacted me in many ways.  Now that there are five days left in the challenge I'm starting to ponder what to do after the 30th day.  Do I keep going?  Do I continue to write daily or make it more once a week?  Etc.  I wanted to see if anyone out there who reads this blog has any suggestions?

Suggestions and/or feedback on keeping this going, the content, the frequency, etc.  Any ideas, comments, feedback would be much appreciated!

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Every now and then I like to dedicate a post to the past.  It reminds me how far my fergitude goes back and how it has helped me get to this moment.  This glimpse is in the not-too-distant past.  It goes back to 2008...mine and Greg's wedding.

We created an awesome website with the help of our good friends Nathan Tayloe and Morgan McGuire.  It was a way for Greg and I to prepare our family and friends for the experience of our coming wedding.  It makes me smile every time I go to it.  We tell our story, details of what to expect at the wedding, etc.  Through out the whole website you will find the adventure mindset.  The wedding was a midsummer night's dream.

Here's the link!  http://www.nicoleandgregswedding.com/

Updates

I believe it is time for an update on some of the things I've mentioned in my blog lately.

• Last week my Dad had a "bone scan" to see if the cancer had spread to his bones.  He found out that his bones are free of cancer!  Now, he has an appointment to have an MRI to see if the cancer has spread to any other "soft tissue" this Wednesday.  This is all very encouraging news.  If the MRI shows that the cancer has not spread to any other organs then my Dad's cancer has been said to be treatable. I continue to be impressed by my Dad's attitude through all of this.
• Greg and I attempted to make pizza from scratch on Valentine's Day.  The pizza turned out fantastic!  We were really worried about how the dough would do.  Between dealing with active yeast, and punching the dough...we were not sure if what we were doing would end up being edible.  It was more than just edible, it was delicious!  Not to mention how romantic.  It was definitely an accomplishment.
• As for the "just keep swimming" motto...I definitely am figuratively.  Physically, I've had to take a break.  I have two big events coming up in 20 days.  They are the Azalea Triathlon and the Wrightsville Beach Half-Marathon.  This is NOT the time I would choose to take a break, but my body has made that decision for me.  I believe that a IT Band Syndrome has infiltrated my left knee and hip.  Although my body has been sending me faint messages for months, the first demand it made was the day I had to limp into Target to buy baby shower gifts (02/06).  The fact that running three miles on Saturday brought pain, means I have to take a break.  It's okay to just "float" every now and then in between the swimming.  Rest, relaxation, recuperation is important.  If you do not voluntarily make it important, then your body will force you to.
• Remember the clients who were climbing Mount Everest?  They discovered their path (house) was no longer available to them after 8 months of dedication.  This would have made many climbers stop to be air lifted off the mountain.  These clients chose to keep going by finding another path.  This is an understatement of their resolve and strength of character.

From these updates I realize that our attitude will play a large role in the direction of our life.  While we are traveling in this direction we must strive to balance our resolve...our determination with ample rest and recuperation in order to be fruitful in our pursuit.

Our Passage

We're all here on this grand passage.

Each of us with our own message.

If we choose to listen, we'll each walk away with a gift from the other

Everyday an exploration.

Those of us on every nation.

If we choose to care, our journey will advance us much further.

This is our adventure.

Oh! What would it not cure,

if we all chose to love and to"see" one another?

**  I used the word "see" as they did in the movie "Avatar"

All Around the World

Same Song....  That was a Digital Underground lyric.

There is so much that I could passionately write in this blog with some of the subjects that will be presented.  The thing is...I'm exhausted.  What I will do is give a brief overview of how I went "all around the world" today.  I'll save the passion for later.

I began the day with a mock practice session of two segments of the triathlon coming up in a few weeks.  Ten of us met at UNCW around 8:30am to bike/run the Azalea Triathlon course.  My "just keep swimming" partner told me I must include in my blog, the dance move we performed in the middle of the run.  The route for the 5K has you turn around after 1.55 miles.  There just happened to be a pole at this midpoint.  Inspired by the tri-member in front of me (no names to protect the innocent) I swirled around the pole like it was my swing partner and so did she.  Makes me wish there were a race out there that had a "dancing" segment to it's triathlon.

Around lunch, I found out that UNCW was having it's Intercultural Festival.  Immediately I had the urge to go...so I did.  The highlights:  got to see Paco Strickland (I'll elaborate more on his talent in another post) strum his magical Flamenco Guitar, had my name written in Japanese, Arabic and Greek, ran into a few friends including a fellow athlete and a friend from Turkey, ate some Finnish chocolate, and participated in a wonderful Tribal African dance (so much could go here in fantastic details of the dance).  In between those things I traveled to many other countries that were represented in the Burney Center.  After exploring all these countries, I got to catch up with my friend Niki.  I met her and a childhood friend of hers at the Arboretum.  I got to hear stories of them growing up in the United Kingdom together while being surrounded by the natural beauty found in our Arboretum.

Next I rushed off to Carolina Beach to show property to clients.  While I was there I stopped by our office and made appointments for other clients I will working with tomorrow.  With a little time in between I stopped to get a coffee and to tour the Fat Pelican.  I had not been there since college.  It's a local haunt that everyone loves that has evolved through the years.

Now I am here with you wishing I had the stamina to give you the descriptive justice this adventure really deserves.  I'll just have to make it up in the next post!  Hope your weekend is just as satisfying.

Friday-astic!

This is post #20 in my 30 day blog challenge and it's Friday.  For both of these reason's the theme of this blog is going to be FUN!  Being on my 20th entry means I only have 10 more to achieve my goal of 30 days straight of blogging!  When I was 20 years old I was in the midst of an extremely fun college adventure.  Friday is the day of the week that the majority of the US looks forward to.  It represents freedom, fun and your time to frolic.  It's the day you get to shed the responsibilities of your job and immerse yourself into the things that bring you happiness.  Reading the updates of my friends on Facebook, it seems that this Friday has been longed for immensely.  Well, here we are!  It's Friday!  You only have a few hours between you and freedom (the weekend).  Yabbadabbadoooooo!!!!   (click on the Yabba to see how happy Fred Flintstone is when he reaches the end of his Friday workday as a "bronto crane operator" with Slate Rock and Gravel Company)

The weekends are not normally the end of my work week, but I still find them delightful.  Why?  If I am working, my clients are usually in great moods because it is their weekend.  Also...I don't think I'll ever forget the feeling of what a Friday meant to me in school!  Not only did you have two days of no school, but it also meant Friday Night games (and school dances).  Still to this day, Friday rouses feelings of relief and anticipation of celebration.  The overall atmosphere of a weekend is jolly and easy-going.  It's a totally different feeling from "the work week".

What will you do for your weekend adventure?  I'm including today.  Even though you may be at work when after you have read this, your weekend adventure starts now while you're still there.  Notice how everyone around you is starting to loosen up preparing for the moment (when workday changes over to Friday night!). Let this happiness carry over into your work.  This will trigger even more merriment.  Before you know it your workplace will be buzzing with all types of good vibes.  Not only will you be spreading a contagious mood of glee but I believe that this phenomenon will also cause 5pm to happen a lot quicker (still needs to be researched).  It will be like your very own "pay it forward" movement.

Let's celebrate!  This is another day in our incredible journey.  Oh what kind of safari will we experience today?!

You Impact Me and Vice Versa

The experiment opened my eyes to how we all give of ourselves and that we receive as well.  Each of us impact those around us without even realizing.

There were times yesterday when I would get caught up in the "rat race".  You know...the rushed feeling of deadlines, emergencies, time management.  Thankfully I put the ring on that reminded me I was suppose to be paying attention and being aware.  Even with reminding myself to pay attention, some of the special moments did not sink in until this morning.

This blog is about how I choose to see my life as a daily adventure.  Now that is exciting, but you know what is even more thrilling?  The fact that my adventure joins others on their adventures throughout the day.  The possibilities!  There were many examples yesterday of these special moments when the path of my journey connected with the path of another's.  I'll mention two of the instances.  One is how someone else's choice impacted my life in a wonderful way.  The other is how a choice I made caused a chain reaction of choices that lead to hope.  The first example is top secret.  I know...why did I even bring it up?  Suspense?  Probably.  Gratitude?  Definitely.  I'm grateful that a person made a decision based in kindness and love.  This individual will probably never know the impact they had, because you know it didn't stop there.  That loving choice infected me and others.  Just think of the domino effect.

Speaking of domino effects.  Close to the end of the day I received a call that invoked the emotion of despair in me, but my choice was not to surrender.  Yes I'm dramatic, but that is exactly how I felt.  I'll give you a little background information.  I'm a Real Estate Broker.  My clients become an extension of me.  What they want,  I want.  In this case, my clients have been trying to buy their dream home since June 09.  Their journey in trying to buy this house can be compared to climbing Mount Everest.  We've been steadily climbing, striving despite obstacle after obstacle.  These clients have exhibited extreme patience, determination and heart*.  The choice I made yesterday was to kick in my conviction to help my clients get over this seemingly unsurmountable wall.  It's like the unexplainable energy someone feels in the moment of an emergency.  That choice (plus the desperation in my voice) then impacted someone who was going to possibly play a vital role in helping these clients achieve their goal.  She is a lender with BB&T.  She made the choice to answer her phone all 5 times I called her despite the fact it required her to stay after work.  Without her, we would not have the hope we now have.  The hope that we may possibly make it over the finish-line in this Ironman Triathlon of a transaction.  By the way, one of these clients did the Ironman Half-Triathlon at the end of last year.  That is an indication of the strength of character they possess.

It's amazing that each decision made steers you in this remarkable journey called life.  In that journey our paths will meet and we'll never be the same.

An Experiment: explore your day.

"What is Fergitude 

Fergitude is a state of mind.

It is the attitude that every day is an adventure. A choose-your-own adventure that is better than any book or movie you will encounter because it is your life."  

That was the first few sentences of my first post.  My mission in this blog was/is to relish, experience, stay mindful, and to be present of each moment.  Whether these moments are big or small, happy or sad; they are forming my life.  Today, I would like to do an experiment and would LOVE for you to join me!  It's very simple.  Our quest is to just pay attention.  To be aware of each choice we make and it's outcome.  What path does it take us down, how does it make us feel, who do we touch because of it.  We make a lot of decisions throughout the day therefore some will have passed before we even know it.  That's okay, this is just a casual exercise.  I'm curious to how it will play out.  My prediction is that we will be pleasantly surprised to the magical moments that happen in the average day.

More than likely these decisions will be what we have considered insignificant in the past.  Some examples (but definitely not limited to just these) are:  what time we choose to get up, what do we wear, what do we eat for breakfast, what route do we take to work and how we get there (walk, car, bike, horse, ...), how do we react to those on the road, how do we walk into our office (whatever/where-ever it may be), who do we see, how do they effect us, how do we effect them, what do we choose to work on, what's our attitude while doing it, what do we do for lunch (eat in, go out, invite someone, skip,...), what do we do after work, who is with us, how do all the people we encounter effect us, how do we effect them.  More than likely we will not be able to fully be aware of each moment because of other demands.  Just when you can, be conscious of the choices and where they take you.  I will probably need something that will remind me of this quest when I get sidetracked.  I'll wear a ring today that I normally don't.  Each time I look at it, I'll be reminded of my experiment.  If you need something like this it could be something as simple as a rubberband.  It would be wonderful to hear what you discovered with your experiment, so feel free to share!  This mission starts after you have read this post.

It will be as if we are scientists researching ourselves.  As if we are anthropologists fascinated with the enthralling moments of an average day in our lives.  We will be on an adventure within an adventure.

What we choose at every turn contributes to the masterpiece that is our life.

Just Keep Swimming

I'm a member of a triathlon training group called the Y Dub Tri Club.  We have practice every morning in swimming, cycling, and running.  Tuesday and Thursday mornings we swim.  We average about 2600-2700 yards each swim which equals about 1.5 miles.  It's no joke.  I've been working out with them since October 2009 and boy have I seen a difference in myself physically and mentally.  I've pushed myself further than I thought I could.  It definitely has added value to my fergitude.  One of the greatest perks of joining has been the friendships.  It's not like we have long to talk during the drowning swimming, spinning or running but somehow between breaths we have learned about each other and became friends.  There's this joke between me and one of the members.  When we are pushing ourselves in one of these sessions and don't know if we can keep it up we think of this...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA

Oh, I get a kick out of that every time!  I noticed it was called Dori's philosophy when I was looking for the clip.  As one of my friends said in her comment on the last post, that action overcomes the hurdles that come your way.  Just like the athlete who jumps over the hurdle on the track.  We also progress forward by some sort of action.    Whether it is the act of keeping one foot in front of the other, an act of love/kindness, the act of refraining from acting=), making a plan, or the act of just being present in that moment.  Once you've acted, you can look back with the gratification of what you achieved by that action.  Whatever you chose advanced you forward in your journey and THAT is invigorating!  This morning, despite how slow I felt, how much water I swallowed, or how much I wanted to stop...I just kept going.  I relaxed...and just kept moving forward.  Afterwards, I felt vivacious...and ready for my adventure of the day.

If you ever find yourself in one of these moments, try to remember Dori's philosophy...and just keep swimming!

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."

"Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood."

-Marie Curie, physicist, chemist, a pioneer in the field of radioactivity, the first person honored with two Nobel Prizes.

The last few posts have either centered around my "Dad-isms" or research.  This one will have a combination of both.  One of the many lessons I appreciate my Dad teaching me was that fear comes from the unknown.  Many of his examples in teaching me were based on wildlife.  Extreme fear of predators like snakes, alligators and sharks stems from our lack of knowledge of how these creatures survive.  I'm not saying you should go swimming with them, I'm saying spend a little time learning about them.  You might just gain a respect for their place in this world, instead of fear.  As children (and adults), our imaginations will sometimes get the better of us.  Growing up in a house built in the early 1900's can be a little creepy (lots of stories on this).  Dad's "fear of the unknown lesson" came into play here as well.  When a "ghost" would scare me, he would help me discover what "real" thing was causing it.  I would wake up to a noise such as a monster banging on the windows and scream for Dad.  He would come to my rescue and show me that the wind had caught the shutters and doors just right to cause them to slam...continuously.  There were many stories with the same conclusion, something explainable was always causing the noise.  I discovered the knowledge helps you replace the fear with understanding.

How does this fit into the mission to remind myself daily to be present and to chronicle this odyssey of life?

If you have read my posts from last week you will know that it was one whammy after another.  In the moment of this struggle I had an epiphany.  I realized that I had choices in how I could react to any of the crisis in front of me.  This knowledge brought a calmness...empowerment...courage.  It was through the understanding that I was steering...I had options.  It changed my whole outlook immediately!  I was ready to overcome them, to persevere, to conquer, to embrace.   


Let's seek to understand the things that we fear in order to move past that barrier.

It's All About the Heart

Some passionately love it and others feel just as extreme in disliking it.  The holiday Valentine's Day can invoke so many different emotions in all of us.  I like to randomly research and/or experiment with things that interest me often.  After observing reactions at the Heart Ball(one of the many ways I celebrate my Mom's life) last night, at the grocery store, on the phone for work and on Facebook today I decided to do a little informal research on Valentine's Day.  After reading some history on the origin and reflecting on this year's comments and years past...I've come to this conclusion:  I think there is something in Valentine's Day for all of us.

Let me explain:

Obviously it is for those of us out there who are in love.  It is a day to appreciate that special someone.  It's a day to show them we care for them through words, acts of kindness, delicious food, quality time, etc.  Some of my facebook friends woke up to breakfast in bed, clean houses, gifts, and much more.  I bought my coffee this morning from a heart clad barista who is a self pro-claimed Valentine's Day fan.  Greg and I are going to bake a pizza from scratch as our Valentine's Day present to each other.  Instead of Hallmark Cards, we've decided to create original love letters to each other.  Throughout the nation, couples are putting their energy, time and money into this day of love

What about those of us out there who are not in a relationship.  I think it easy to feel left out of this Holiday if you are single.  Sometimes to combat this feeling, we get a gang together to rebel against it.  It's just fun to rebel every now and then, so I'm with you on that too.  It's especially hard if you are mending a broken heart to enjoy the whole idea of Valentine's Day.

The thing is, I don't think this day is solely about couples and romantic love.  As I mentioned above, I did a little informal research into Valentine's Day.  I LOVE history therefore reading about the many theories of the origin of Valentine's Day was thrilling.  I'm not here to talk about which one is correct, I say to each their own on that.  What I would like to offer is a fergitude perspective on Valentine's Day.  The perspective:   it is all about heart.

What's that you say?  That's nothing new?  Well...there's a few definitions of heart.  One of them being: 

 spirit, courage, or enthusiasm

Valentine's Day is about being brave.  It's about having the courage to go for what you want, the spirit to persevere, and the enthusiasm that life is your very own exciting adventure whereas you are the Captain.  Whether that means going out on a limb to ask someone out on a date, having the compassion to make someone's day brighter, the sensitivity to love those in your life, the tenacity to pick yourself up and keep going/loving, and the nerve to love yourself for all that you are.  

It's All About the Heart

My Snow Fisherman seemed to have taken this attitude to heart.  I woke up to find him leaning slightly.  

I've deducted that he may have found a beach girl who knocked his socks and hat off.

Light Up My Life

You do.  My Dad does.  Snow in Wilmington(never happens) does.  Hope does.

"You Light Up My Life" I use to play that on the piano when I was little and sing it occasionally to unsuspecting people.  A few things have lit up my life since my last post.

• Seeing my Dad bouncing around Ferguson's yesterday.

The first thing he did when Greg and I sauntered into Fergie's was come out of the kitchen to give me this spine rattling hug(I believe I have whiplash).  Through out lunch he continued to skip around slinging Fergie Burgers while hollering and joking with anyone who set foot in the restaurant.  Nancy, Erin, Lisa and my brother Mike(who had the pleasure of working with Dad yesterday) would just shake their heads and say he had been in an extra frisky mood all day.  It was good to see him in such a fantastic mood.  Attitude is everything in life...especially through the snags.

• Snow in Wilmington, NC.

I know that there are quite a few states especially on the East Coast that would love to pummel me with a gigantic snow ball for saying this.  Regions that are breaking shovels trying to dig themselves out of their driveway.  Those who are experiencing Cabin Fever for the relentless blizzards they keep getting.  The thing is, those of us who live in Wilmington, NC never get to see this white stuff on our turf.  It was a treat watching it fall last night.

• Hope 

I'm not superstitious, but I believe this rare happening of snow fall on Wilmington's coast to be symbolic of hope.  The spirit that I witnessed in Ferguson's yesterday gives me hope.  Our spirit, our attitude, our character is the most significant factor in prevailing in this wonderful life...our odyssey.

• You

It has to be known that writing to you in this blog challenge has made such an impact on me in these 14 days. It has kept me focused on my mission to relish each day, even when they are difficult.  It has reminded me that  this is a journey and that each moment is part of my grand voyage.  It has connected me with you and your excellent adventures(Bill and Ted moment).  It thrills me to realize this is only the beginning.

I appreciate it all.    My Dad, the snow, this experience, you...the adventure.

This is a Test

That's what I kept saying to myself yesterday.  This is a test.  This is a higher power, testing my durability.  Here's the timeline of blows:

• 5:30pm 02/10 Your Dad has Cancer(possibly treatable).  Ka-boom!  The bomb hits.

In the aftermath, I wake up the next day(yesterday) to...

• 10:00am 02/11 I'm asked to retrieve a file from 2 years ago...potential lawsuit.  Wham!  I'm punched in the gut.
• 10:30am 02/11 A client demands stop building...terminate contract.  Slap!  In the face.

My world started to spiral, again.  I sat down and cried.  A few minutes later a new emotion started to replace the fear and sadness.  The first word that comes to mind is resilience.  It was like the change that superman experiences when he goes from the timid Clark Kent to the "man of steel" superhero within seconds.  Of course that is an exaggeration of my transformation, but it did happen that quickly.  I went from feeling like a victim to realizing the power lies in how I react.  As soon as that realization hit, I experienced a calmness...empowerment...courage.  It was like I just ate a can of spinach.  

                  To recognize in each moment you have a choice can provide strength to your resolve.  

                  My spinach was having a choice to how I react to my present.

The two train wrecks that happened that morning had gotten back on track by noon, thankfully.  This goes back to the lesson Dad taught me during one of our many "front porch swing during a fantastic thunderstorm talks".    Life is constantly changing.  You can count on that.  You go up, you go down and back again.  The assurance lies in knowing that cycle.  The duration can be seconds, minutes, days, weeks, years.  I'm okay with you "cycle of life". 

Going to see Dad today, to give him lots of love and hugs.  PS...Yesterday, I had a knight and shining armor/superman come to my rescue...my husband.  

My Dad

In a past post, I wrote about how the challenges of our lives are important segments of our adventure.  I mentioned that it would be easy for me to write in that mindset at the time, because I was not currently experiencing a hardship.  I said, "It will be interesting the day I sit down to write to you when I am in the middle of a setback".

Here I am.  Yesterday was a demanding day from morning to evening with a devastating blow at the end.  I remember early in the day starting to let the demands get the better of me, but these words from my post came to mind "Seeing problems as an acceptable and normal part of our journey...face the challenge".  It's easy and almost habitual to try to suppress or get rid of the bad feeling/thoughts that come when you are experiencing a burden.  During one of the difficulties of yesterday, when my mind began to protest against the obstacles, I remembered these moments should be embraced.  What I was going through and feeling was important for me to be present in.  It definitely strengthened my mindset immediately.  I felt relief.  It felt good to accept my challenge.  Now with this attitude, I'm ready to find a solution and/or clues that the obstacles have to teach me.

As for the the news I received at 5:30 yesterday.

After an earnest conversation with my brother last night and reflecting on the way he(Dad) told me the news, I realize that my Dad is choosing to champion his diagnosis openly and with sincerity, fortitude, and judicious optimism.  My Dad found out yesterday that he has a "moderately aggressive" form of cancer.  It is known as treatable, as long as it is contained.  This is the beginning of this journey, and my Dad (who was and is a major factor in my fergitude) is navigating the current challenge with transcendent fergitude.  The original fergitude.

From here I will walk with my Dad (my family and all those who love him) on this pilgrimage with the collective fergitude mindset.  To relish everyday, to experience, to love those around me and to love me.  This is our life, and we are going to live it actively, with purpose and with hope.  What we choose at every turn contributes to the masterpiece that is our life.

Shaken

What a day.

It was an extremely busy/challenging day at work.  Then, at 5:30pm I heard news that shook me to my core.  I'm not sure how I want to write about this right now.  I'll just say that a loved one found out news from the doctor that concerned(petrified) me.  I've sat here trying to decide what to say to you for quite awhile.  I came to this.  To admit to you I am shaken at this juncture, and it is okay.  It's okay that I am shaken, that I'm worried, that I'm sad, that I don't know what to do...  This is the adventure too.  There is so much I want to say but it's swirling too fast in my head right now.  I'm going to sleep on it.  I'll be back in the morning with more.  More thoughts...more fergitude.  

Just so you know...in the progression of receiving the news at 5:30pm to now 10pm, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Fergitude Circa 1986

As a child, I use to fantasize about traveling the world, interacting, submersing myself into the many cultures that I met.  My office was going to be in the canopy of the Amazon.  I planned to make a difference in the world.  I wanted to be Indiana Jones.  To the left is yours truly at age 8.  Notice the survival knife with compass as the "rear bolster"(there was also a survival kit inside the handle).  It obviously was my favorite Christmas present that I wore everywhere.  "You never know when you may stumble upon an adventure in which you'll need your trusty compass survival knife" was my motto.  It would be hard to miss the gigantic crown on my head.  It was my cousin's(who I adored).  I feel this picture still represents me well.  I'm still a tomboy ready to explore unchartered territory, yet I have a real girly(feminine, compassionate, sensitive) side too.  Due to picture quality you could never discern the "swatch watch" I am sporting but that doesn't really have much to do with this story.  My purpose in torturing you with  a 1986 photograph is to trace back to when fergitude started to take shape.

While we are reminiscing...Heather lived across the street from me.  We met when we were 5 years old.  She and her Dad were standing in their front yard playing with glowsticks.  From that remarkable meeting, we rarely spent a day a part from each other for about 10 years.  We were very different in many ways.  She had straight blond hair and blue eyes, I had brownish red curly hair with brown eyes.  She was a Tarheel fan, I was a State fan.  She was more subtle and quiet, I was rambunctious and loud.  Despite these differences her and I were "two peas in a pod".  We were linked by our love for adventure!  After watching the movie Goonies, we started a Goonie club.  You had to complete an obstacle course to join.  We had about 7 members(Stevie, Joey, Edward, Lindy, Tabitha, Heather and I).  At my family's restaurant Ferguson's, we had a signature "Goonie" Hotdog(ketchup, mustard and cheese).  We spent most of our days in a forest that we called "the woods" hoping that we were going to get lost and have a "Goonie" experience.  We would take off for "the experience" with some cheese and mayonaise sandwiches, oatmeal creme pies, and a soda.  That was going to be our provisions for the duration of our time out there...we were normally back before dusk.

There are MANY adventures I could share with you from this 10 year period and I probably will when I have  scanned in some of the pictures to better illuminate the stories(Spotlight, jumping ditches, Porkchop Hill, the underground tunnel, the House of Shoes, trolls, Lake Waccamaw, oh the list goes on and on).  I may give those involved fair warning...or I may not.

InterACTION

Excerpt from Wikipedia:
"Interaction is a kind of action that occurs as two or more objects have an effect upon one another.  A closely related term is interconnectivity, which deals with the interactions of interactions within systems: combinations of many simple interactions can lead to surprising emergent phenomena. Interaction has different tailored meanings in various sciences. All systems are related and interdependent. Every action has a consequence.
Casual example of interaction outside of science include:  communication of any sort, for example two or more people talking to each other, or communication among groups, organisations, nations or states: trade, migration, foreign relations, transportation"

In just 9 days of writing, reflecting, and contemplating about my fergitude, it is astounding to see consistent themes that come up often.  In my first post, I explain that fergitude is the attitude that every day is an adventure.  The mindset that chooses to see each and every moment of your life as part of your own incredible odyssey.  The word "interaction" has been one of the themes that continues to come up.  It's like a driving force in the chronicles of my journey.

From Wikipedia above:  "Two or more objects have an effect upon one another...in which simple interactions can lead to surprising emergent phenomena.  Every action has a consequence."
Now in my words...

Every day(two or more *objects* have an effect upon one another)
is an adventure;(emergent phenomena)
the choices you make(simple interactions)
will take you down exciting paths of life.(surprising emergent phenomena)

*objects*:  each day you will come across other people, animals, etc(objects) in which you will have an effect upon one another.

When I think of interaction I think of the exchanges of information, energy, emotions that happen each and every time you cross the path of another being.  It could be standing in line at the coffee shop, during a meeting at work, sitting on a plane, dropping your child off at school, when your dog greets you at the door, at the doctor's office, in the gym, riding a horse, with your significant other,...  It could be with yourself as well(inner debates, inspiring yourself to reach a goal, memories).  It could be with yourself and an higher power(your spirituality through prayer and/or meditation).  These interactions transform us no matter how small or large they are.  When I say that every day is an adventure, that each moment is creating your odyssey...I envision the interactions playing a large role in your/my story.

InterACTION!

I can feel my adrenaline start pumping.  This is the part of the blog where we insert the Nike slogan "Just do it".  Lights!  Camera!  Action!  In this mindset...this fergitude...there is the charge to live life actively.  To take action.  To realize that my life is and can be as good as I want it to be.  As fascinating as I choose to see it.  It requires me to be present in each moment.  To seize the lessons, opportunities...the jewels.. of each day.  To engage myself.  It's easy to rely on our sitcoms, movies, books, etc to entertain us, to numb us, to overshadow the real motion picture...your/my life.

What will today's chapter/scene/episode unfold for us today?

Embrace Your Hurricane

I chose this title with some caution.  Sometimes when I'm writing my blog I have these pangs of guilt.  In this case the title caused a little discomfort in my belly when thoughts of the aftermath of Katrina, the destruction in Haiti, and other natural disasters flashed into my mind.  I want you to know that the hurricane I am referring to is a way to figuratively describe when life seems to be swirling around you .  While I'm at it, I also realize I'm speaking from 31 years of a very fortunate life and am humbled by the millions who have endured challenges I have not faced.

I've digressed...back to embracing my hurricane.  Have you ever had so much going on that you feel there is a hurricane swirling all the elements of your life swiftly around you?  You feel disoriented, exhilarated, pressed, fearful, stunned, eager, bedazzled.  I was feeling this surge of emotions when I first sat down to write to you(which may have come from the closing of a very momentous week).  There are so many great things going on in my life, that I was starting to worry about giving them all the attention they deserve.  Then I grounded myself with fergitude.  It was writing to you that brought me back to this awareness.  So now, I have stopped to appreciate, honor and savor this whirlwind of abundance.  There is no rush.  Everything that is here in my life is because I chose it.  Oh yes, every day is my adventure.  Let me remember to enjoy it, instead of rushing through.  That was simple.  Ahhhh...I feel better.

So now...onto the next stop in my adventure.  It will include:  oysters, wings, brownies(I'm packin') creative commercials, good jokes, great conversations and maybe a cold one or two.  Yes...it's Super Bowl Time.  Just so you know...I chose to write to you before I took off to the Super Bowl parties.  Sure that might mean I'm a nerd, but I'm okay with that.  Oh... where our decisions will lead us next in our expedition.  That is exciting to even think about.

Breakdown of Today's Odyssey

Today was a full day of adventures!  That is why I'm writing at 10pm.  Greg suggested that on weekends(or when my journey's have kept me away from morning blogging), I could do a breakdown of my daily escapades. Well here it goes!

7am:  Run 10.5 miles at Wrightsville Beach with my Y Dub Tri buddies.

9am:  Limp into Target for Baby Shower goodies for my dear friend, Frankie.

10am:  Shower.  Cook delicious breakfast for Hubby and I.  Have fantastic conversation with one of my best friends.

11:30am:  Begin my excursion for my hometown...visions of Fergie Burgers, good hugs and lots of laughter danced in my head for the hour and a half trek.

1pm:  Mission one complete.  Surprised brother, dad, and nephew.  Received some of the best hugs(I was only getting started).  Ate Fergie Burger.  Discover that my Dad is now out of the Dark Ages and has a smart phone!!!!!

2pm:  Arrive at next destination, Frankie's Baby Shower.  Receive more phenomenal hugs.  Laughed A LOT for three hours.  Mission two complete.

5pm:  Take delightful detour to experience Frankie's new home.  Made a work appointment for tomorrow.

6pm: Get back on my path to more hugs(same group from first set of hugs with the addition of my sister-in-law), and some reminicsing.

8:30pm:  On my return vogage home.

10pm:  Late dinner and writing to you.

20 hugs full of love, 15 hours of non-stop adventure, 10 miles of running,  5 marvelous surprises, 1 helluva day!   Ahhhhh....fergitude

Now, I plan to fall asleep in the next two seconds.  I'll see you tomorrow!

Singing in the Rain

"The distinguishing mark of a true adventure is that it is often no fun at all while they are happening" - Kim Robinson

A friend who just happens to be an adventure racer sent this quote to me recently. She said that it described her last adventure race experience to a tee. Just a few of their obstacles were inclement weather(one team member had signs of hypothermia), equipment malfunction(bicycle chain broke, twice), and getting lost in the middle of nowhere. Despite all of this, they are ready to do it again...two weeks later(maybe not the member who got hypothermia). If you want to know more about "adventure racing" check out this website(Greg and I are considering doing this one with our adventure racing friends).

As I was searching for some type of image to illustrate this morning's theme, I came across a blog post that hit home with today's thoughts. This blogger was posting the "The 9 Attitudes of Highly Creative People". The two attitudes that fit perfectly in with this post are below. For those of you who are reading this that do not consider yourself creative, scratch that thought. I strongly feel we all have our own creativity, but that subject will have to wait until another post.

2. Seeing Problems as Interesting and Acceptable: One of the problems of the Western mindset is that we often see problems or obstacles in life as unacceptable parts of life. We avoid pain or suppress it when it comes and in doing so don’t often see and feel symptoms that are there to tell us something important. Creative people see problems as a natural and normal part of life – in fact they often have a fascination with problems and are drawn to them.

3. Confronting Challenge: Many of the most creative ideas through out history have come from people facing a challenge or crisis and rather than running from it asking ‘how can I overcome this’?

My blogs up until this point have been very optimistic...well...they're probably going to stay that way. They've also been about the the happiness, the pleasure, the excitement of an adventure...your/my life. The truth is you can't have an adventure with out some obstacles, some challenges, and points to which you question yourself. There is no one, fictional or in reality who does not experience defeat, hurt, pain, anger, confusion, grief, lack of confidence, discouragement and setbacks. During these parts of our journey it is hard to see out, to remember the joys of our odyssey, and that they will pass. It will be easy for me to write about how they will pass right now, because I am not in the throes of adversity at this moment. It will be interesting the day I sit down to write to you when I am in the middle of a setback.

It is uncanny how much this sentence from the blogger's post above fits in with my blog's theme and more specifically the last post about being present. "We avoid pain or suppress it when it comes and in doing so don’t often see and feel symptoms that are there to tell us something important." Even when it hurts it is important to be present. Why? It's part of our adventure, it's what will take us to our next path. More than likely, you will come out of it better than you were before. There's the theory that these challenges define us, they make us who we are...they are an essential piece to what makes you the magnificent person that you are. I believe that. In a physical sense, I do not become faster(in my races) without pushing myself to discomfort, pain, and self-doubt. It's unpleasant when I'm there, but that doesn't last long.

My Dad is and has been a major force in my life. I remember from an early age our discussions about life on our front porch swing during some fantastic thunderstorms(that was our tradition). He said "Nicky, life is all about the ups and downs. Just know that when your up, you'll be coming down again. When your down, you'll be coming up again.". This piece of wisdom has helped me throughout my life. You will not always be high, on top of the world, happy...and you will not always be low, in the dumps, sad. As all things...it will be a balance of both. Both are very important to reading the map of our life.

A friend of mine who in Kindergarten helped me through one of my first obstacles in school commented on my last post. He spoke to being present even in the "downer" moments. I could not resist incorporating his analogy of his daughter to the post about being present.

"An example of moment-to-moment living is my toddler's way of life. She's right there in each moment. Crying when she falls. Laughing when she feels good. Singing. Playing. Nothing else matters.

The time is now."

Present

I'm being present.

Sounds easier than it really is. What I mean by that sentence is embracing, enjoying, and being aware of how you feel/what you are doing right now. It's 5:55 am. I feel rested, relaxed, and tranquil(what am I doing: writing to you and myself). The tranquility is one of the reasons I've become a "morning person" within the last few years...the calm(quiet) before the storm(adventure). "Being present" is a constant work in progress for me. Why? In between finding that present I am thinking/worrying about the past or thinking/worrying/planning the future.

Some of these are positive thoughts and some of them are negative. There is nothing wrong with either, just as long as you(I) can spend some time in the present. Relish what, how, who you are right now. Then do it again as soon as possible.

I'm scratching the surface of something monumental for me. I'm admitting to myself(and you) that I spend a good amount of my time planning, thinking, guilting, loving, dreading, anticipating my future and my past. Some of this is needed or even essential.

Example of time spent in the future: I have this "day planner" that goes wherever I go. It's like Linus's blanket. I write into it on average every hour. Appointments, events, birthdays, showers, tri club sessions, etc are a few of the items that are found in this planner/journal. This is essential for me. It is how I organize my time as a Realtor, tri-athlete, friend and other roles that define me. All this planning is great! I am able to orchestrate days full of adventures with clients, friends, fellow athletes, etc. It's easy to get so caught up in making this plan and following it that I forget to fully enjoy the present. Ahhh...breathe...I'm back to the present. When I allow myself to be present it feels wonderful.

Examples of time spent in the past: thoughts that make me smile...being proud of an improved race time, figuring out how to solve something at work using my past experience, remembering how cool my Mom was, telling stories of awesome past adventures. Sometimes my thoughts will creep on the negative side as well. Most of these negative thoughts revolve around something I think I should have done better...communicated better with a client, swam better in the pool, been a better friend, daughter, sister, wife. I didn't mention in my future paragraph, but some of those thoughts are negative too...fretting if someone will choose me as their Realtor, worrying about bills, etc.

It is normal to have your thoughts in the past and in the future, negative or positive. The idea is to make sure that there is a balance. One of the goals of this blog is to bring my focus to the present. To make sure I am actually enjoying the moments of my adventures and not just planning or remembering them. Just in writing this entry I was in and out of the past, future and present. The beauty is that I am closer to you, to me and to being more present because of it.

Throughout this day, let's savor every moment we can. That first sip of coffee, each conversation, your drive, your work, your lunch, the obstacle, the love...life...adventure.

The Ice Breaker

To our left is a relic of the past. It dates back to June 10, 2004, from my first speech with Toastmasters; a club devoted to developing communication and leadership skills.

http://www.toastmasters.org/

When you join Toastmasters you receive a manual of 10 speech projects. Each one is designed to develop your speaking skills one step at a time. Project 1 is "The Ice Breaker". You are suppose to choose aspects of your life that will give your fellow club members insight and understanding of you. The name of my ice breaker was..."Adventure".

If you had a chance to read my last post, I mentioned that I met my husband at a Memorial Weekend Party in 2004. Less than two weeks later(we spent every day together) I invited him to come see my first speech for this club. The night before the speech I wrote this definition of adventure on a small piece of paper for each audience member. Then I burned the edges to make it look like it was part of a treasure map. My goal was to let the audience know my fergitude on life. I wanted to share how I viewed my life as this phenomenal ongoing odyssey and that they too were on their own adventure. I told each of them that they were their own version of Indiana Jones. Six years later, here I am doing my first blog on the same thing. Wow. Coincidence...I don't think so.

I didn't know what I was getting into with writing this blog, but with each entry I discover treasure. I feel so much right now, I just do not quite know how to say it. This endeavor has already been enlightening, and very worth it. Maybe down the road I will be better able to convey it. For now, I'll use an analogy. When you think of any of our adventurers(Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, Quartermain, Jason Bourne, William Wallace, the Goonies, Bastian from The Neverending Story, Sherlock Holmes), once they decide/realize their purpose(destination, mission, duty, passion, goal) many wonders, opportunities, and realizations start to unfold before them. Well...that is kinda what I'm feeling right now.

The piece of paper above belongs to my husband. He has kept it these six years in a special place that it was only removed from just long enough to take the picture. He said that once I finished that speech June 10, 2004 that I had sealed my fate. He was going to keep me forever. This man, my husband is amazing. As you may know from my last post, I consider him to be one of the most precious "jewels" I have discovered in my journey. For the record, it was he who came up with the word, Fergitude.

Jewels and Clues

Every choice has it's outcome, right? In my world these are the jewels, clues and fruits of my adventure. Imagine Indiana Jones in his quests(the lost ark, temple of doom, etc).

Last night's blog for example was a clue. I saddled up to the computer to accomplish the mission of my second blog entry, despite the fact that my brain was going into sleep mode. As a result, I uncovered a clue...that my blog writing should be done in the morning.

Let's take it up a notch. My choice to go to a Memorial Day party in 2004 lead me to one of the most precious jewels yet, my husband. On a whim, I decided I would say yes to a friend's crazy suggestion to run a 5K in 2005...five years later I am a triathlete. Trying to always walk down the path of love, respect, compassion and integrity has brought riches(love, friendship, family...) that rival any treasure that Indiana Jones happened upon.

Today, my itinerary includes observing people plunging into a freezing body of water, aiding a friend in need, a voyage to Bald Head Island, research/work for my clients and being aware of all the jewels, clues and fruits along the way.

Every decision I make is yet another turn in my exploration of this fantastic life.

The Choice is Yours

"You can get with this or you can get with that." Black Sheep (tribute to 90's Rap) The choice is yours. When you say that to yourself, do you feel the power? I do. I feel like Whoopi Goldberg's hyena character in "The Lion King" when she hears the name Mufasa. Ooh...say it again! The choice is yours. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peEkaiRNZoM Let's just dissect some choices of the average weekday evening adventure.

• try out a new dish ~ could lead you down the path of a new yumminess
• impulsively hug/kiss the closest person to you ~ could bring instant happiness to the receiver and you
• text your brother to tell him you're giving him a wake up call at 5am ~ could bring accountability in both of your workout goals
• write an entry in your blog ~ could learn more about yourself and touch others
• go over your plan for the next day ~ could set your mind at ease and prepare you for tomorrow's adventure
• finishing painting the picture you promised your sister-in-law for Christmas ~ could release some of the guilt
• curl up with a book and fall asleep ~ could bring you bliss
• yoga ~ could elongate your body, bring peace/tranquility and prevent injury in other pursuits such as triathlons, half-marathons, etc.
• long hot bath ~ could be just what the doctor ordered

My mind is a little fuzzy from my expedition today. It went a little something like this...I chose to be up at 5am to arrive for the 5:45am bike session with my tri club, contacted four leads about properties they're interested in, worked with new clients(marine scientists) that just drove in from the Bayou(the majority of my voyage!), checked in with current clients about their transactions, paid some bills, offered to help a friend move. Altogether it was about 11 hours of non-stop talking and a very productive day. Now it is time to reflect, relax and rejuvenate myself with some good old-fashioned rest.

Just so you know, for my evening I chose happiness, accountability, learning, and bliss. What did you choose?