I'm being present.
Sounds easier than it really is. What I mean by that sentence is embracing, enjoying, and being aware of how you feel/what you are doing right now. It's 5:55 am. I feel rested, relaxed, and tranquil(what am I doing: writing to you and myself). The tranquility is one of the reasons I've become a "morning person" within the last few years...the calm(quiet) before the storm(adventure). "Being present" is a constant work in progress for me. Why? In between finding that present I am thinking/worrying about the past or thinking/worrying/planning the future.
Some of these are positive thoughts and some of them are negative. There is nothing wrong with either, just as long as you(I) can spend some time in the present. Relish what, how, who you are right now. Then do it again as soon as possible.
I'm scratching the surface of something monumental for me. I'm admitting to myself(and you) that I spend a good amount of my time planning, thinking, guilting, loving, dreading, anticipating my future and my past. Some of this is needed or even essential.
Example of time spent in the future: I have this "day planner" that goes wherever I go. It's like Linus's blanket. I write into it on average every hour. Appointments, events, birthdays, showers, tri club sessions, etc are a few of the items that are found in this planner/journal. This is essential for me. It is how I organize my time as a Realtor, tri-athlete, friend and other roles that define me. All this planning is great! I am able to orchestrate days full of adventures with clients, friends, fellow athletes, etc. It's easy to get so caught up in making this plan and following it that I forget to fully enjoy the present. Ahhh...breathe...I'm back to the present. When I allow myself to be present it feels wonderful.
Examples of time spent in the past: thoughts that make me smile...being proud of an improved race time, figuring out how to solve something at work using my past experience, remembering how cool my Mom was, telling stories of awesome past adventures. Sometimes my thoughts will creep on the negative side as well. Most of these negative thoughts revolve around something I think I should have done better...communicated better with a client, swam better in the pool, been a better friend, daughter, sister, wife. I didn't mention in my future paragraph, but some of those thoughts are negative too...fretting if someone will choose me as their Realtor, worrying about bills, etc.
It is normal to have your thoughts in the past and in the future, negative or positive. The idea is to make sure that there is a balance. One of the goals of this blog is to bring my focus to the present. To make sure I am actually enjoying the moments of my adventures and not just planning or remembering them. Just in writing this entry I was in and out of the past, future and present. The beauty is that I am closer to you, to me and to being more present because of it.
Throughout this day, let's savor every moment we can. That first sip of coffee, each conversation, your drive, your work, your lunch, the obstacle, the love...life...adventure.
I've digressed...back to embracing my hurricane. Have you ever had so much going on that you feel there is a hurricane swirling all the elements of your life swiftly around you? You feel disoriented, exhilarated, pressed, fearful, stunned, eager, bedazzled. I was feeling this surge of emotions when I first sat down to write to you(which may have come from the closing of a very momentous week). There are so many great things going on in my life, that I was starting to worry about giving them all the attention they deserve. Then I grounded myself with fergitude. It was writing to you that brought me back to this awareness. So now, I have stopped to appreciate, honor and savor this whirlwind of abundance. There is no rush. Everything that is here in my life is because I chose it. Oh yes, every day is my adventure. Let me remember to enjoy it, instead of rushing through. That was simple. Ahhhh...I feel better.
