The detective hat and the sword. They're strong symbols of the tools I've learned to use to navigate the self-imposed challenges I face. When I experience an emotion or thought that is impeding the path towards my goal, the detective hat goes on. It's a playful image that comes to mind that reminds me, it's now time to become curious about the thoughts that are dampening my resolve. This is a game changer. Before learning to don my detective hat, what I would do, is believe the words that are playing on that "broken record" I mentioned yesterday. The moment that I'm describing is the pivotal point in recognizing the self-defeating pattern that has haunted me for years.
Here's how it goes: I get excited, I mean EXCITED about an idea, make a few steps towards bringing the idea to fruition and then 💥BAM💥, 👉thoughts, feelings, dashed hopes👎. In the past, I wouldn't even know what hit me. The narrative running in my mind was so habitual and deeply rooted, I couldn't even see it very clearly...or I didn't want to see it. Just putting on the detective hat changes everything. Why? It wakes me up from the sleep-walking like consciousness that has covered my eyes and kept me in my stagnant slumber. I guess there's a part of me that thinks this pattern is protecting me. My act of putting on the detective hat, tells my consciousness that I'm ready and willing to take the "broken record" off the player and throw away. I don't need it anymore. I'm strong enough. It doesn't have to protect me. I can handle this. I'm done with this pattern.
The detective hat is my figurative light switch. I turn on the light to see a room in my mind that I've been afraid to peer into. The room isn't even that scary, I guess it's just cluttered and I haven't known where to begin to progress to my goal. I become curious. This word is powerful Curious. When we become curious, we shift our perspective. Instead of holding onto a belief, a thought, a stance, a way of looking at something that may be keeping us from growing, we just become curious about it. It's like that decision to be inquisitive automatically loosens the reins. We become lighter, more flexible, less serious in that very instant. That shift is pure magic. I put my detective hat on and look at the thoughts running in my mind that have made me feel as if my idea is not worthy. Here's some of the thoughts that I've had: "I don't have anything worthwhile to say. I'm not good enough, deep enough, smart enough. My idea is crap". It's understandable, no one would really want to look at those thoughts. But not looking at them is precisely why they become powerful enough to stall me, us, everyone. With my detective hat, I'm curious, I'm an onlooker, a witness to this train wreck of thoughts. I can see them neutrally..."Oh, isn't that interesting I'm having those thoughts". With the detective hat, being curious, I don't have to attach to these thoughts, I don't have to believe them. I'm in detective mode, I'm trying to solve the mystery. I've got things to do instead of get tangled up in these suspects.
Suspect is exactly what they are. After going into curious mode, which makes me brave enough and relaxed enough to look at thoughts like that with a sense of humor or just not taking them that seriously anymore. They're just a bunch of delinquents loitering around the mystery that needs to be solved. Then, I can see them for what they are, just wayward thoughts not contributing to a life that I want to live. I can see them lovingly, knowing they were doing what they thought they should. It's ok, they can be relieved of their spot to evolve to something even better. I can have this kind of dialogue with myself when I'm not avoiding these thoughts. This kind of dialogue can help me see more clearly what kind of thoughts will help me to reach my goals, not deter them. In response to these wayward thoughts: "I don't have anything worthwhile to say. I'm not good enough, deep enough, smart enough. My idea is crap". The dialogue could go like this: "So. I want to say it, I have the desire, the yearning. That's what matters. If I have a burning desire to do something, I'm going to honor that passion and I'll do it to the best of my ability. I'll not get caught up in comparison or stifling thoughts about whether it's worthwhile. I'll just do it and keep going, and see where it takes me. I'll not spend my time worrying or trying to determine if I'm smart enough, deep enough, good enough. That would just derail me. It's distractions. None of it matters. There's only one me, no one else like me, it would be a shame to withhold inspirations I feel just because I'm too busy trying to prove to myself whether these silly thoughts are true or false. They're immaterial in my investigation." This is where I dismiss them. I lovingly tell them to go along their way. They're not helping, anymore.
After that interaction with Sherlock Ferguson, Adventure Ferguson skips along her jolly way into the horizon of her exciting, magical life.
Sometimes, the hat has to come back on, even in response to some of the same lingering, loitering wayward thoughts. That's ok. Being the detective is part of this amazing adventure. I like to wear my curious hat. Have you wondered about the sword? My Excalibur? I didn't necessarily need it in the scenario I described. The sword comes out when the unwanted guests don't get the hint. Don't worry, it's not a massacre, it's just when I brandish it, everyone in the vicinity knows that a major clearing is about to happen. Maybe I'll go into more detail on that soon. Playing around in these shadows has me craving some sunshine. I'm ready to frolic and venture into something fun. Let's see where that inspiration leads me.
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